Audra Marie

A'Muse' Me Monday 2

So over on Four Fantabulous Females, I posted some prompts and I decided to answer the fiction one here. :)

Fiction: Write a scene where God has asked you why you aren’t doing what He knows you can do and has given you to do.

  "Audra."
  A quiet voice washes over and through me. I know this voice. "Yes, Lord?"
  "I'm wondering how you're doing with the gifts I gave you?"
  Gifts. Uh oh. "Umm -- well..."
  "I can read your thoughts, don't start making excuses." His voice is still quiet and oh so calm even though my heart is hammering a complete opposite cadence.
  "I'm sorry. I know you gave me gifts, but I've been a little nervous about actually using them." I look down at my toes and wish I could slink away.
  "Do you think I made a mistake when I formed you? When I created who you are and placed the gifts I chose for you inside your heart spirit?" His voice is louder now -- a voice of authority and I'm overwhelmed as conviction lays heavy. Who am I to question God's decision?
"No, Lord. You never and cannot possibly make a mistake. I didn't trust you." I drop to my knees and tears slip down my face. "I'm so sorry for allowing anything to come before your desires for me. I'm sorry I didn't believe you could or would work through me. I feel so unworthy and incapable of these things you've called me to do."
I hear a rustle and feel a soft puff of air. A sweet scent drifts past my nose. Something has changed and I realize God is standing before me. I'm in awe of His presence.
  "Child -- it's because you feel unworthy and incapable that I can work through you. I need your humbleness and brokenness in order to transform you into my image and do what I have asked of you. I will carry you through. Empty yourself and I will fill you."

Heavenly Father, help me to empty myself and allow you to fill me and use me. I don't want to do anything on my own accord -- your will be done not mine.
Audra Marie

Re-launch mishap

It's probably a good thing I haven't built  my readership up yet as I totally missed my re-launch date. Life went nuts with a kitchen disaster, illness, yard sale planning and carrying out, and so many other life moments. I'm here now though and itching to be creative.

I'm working on my WIP called Midnight Ride - a romantic suspense. I have a new opening for a novel running through my head. I also have a painting idea which is weird considering I uh don't paint. That should be interesting.

When I was posting before, I had begun doing The Artist's Way. I'd like to do that again, but I'm not sure now is the time. There are also two other creative type books I want to do, too.

At the moment, I'm reading Pen on Fire. I've just begun, but already I've learned that it's possible to write when you only have fifteen minutes or so. All those snippets of time will add up. I just need to know what to work on when I actually put fingers to keyboard. Brainstorming can be done during the busy times when i can't sit uninterrupted. :)

Anyway, I'll be sharing whatever creative things I come up with or do here so stay tuned. :)
Audra Marie

Blog re-launch coming soon...

I’m officially re-launching my blogs August 15th. Stay tuned for new posts, interviews with authors, guest bloggers, exciting contests, and anything else that strikes me as FUN!

The countdown begins:

10 days left
Audra Marie

I have returned

I really enjoyed The Artist's Way, but when little Amber arrived, I took a break to get to know my new little girl. She is now 6 months old and such a doll. She also likes to have time playing which gives me time to do The Artist's Way once again.
This week I’m reading the introduction and chapter 1 for a refresher. I’m really looking forward to the exercises and Artist’s Dates. I’ve been doing the Morning Pages again for quite a while. I actually wrote my Morning Pages all the way up to and including the day she was born.
If anyone would like to join me, I’d love to have the company so leave a comment and blog about your own journey through this fun book.
Audra Marie

A look at week 2 of my Artist's Way Journey...

I have to say, I'm loving this experience so far. I feel like I'm taking care of myself, expressing myself, and then find I'm even better at sharing myself with my family. I have 3 1/2 weeks left until this baby's due date and I find this is helping me to relax even more.

Last night, I wrapped up my week 2 (I seem to be on a Thursday to Wednesday routine) by choosing the collage activity at this Artist's Way site: http://paperartstudio.tripod.com/artistsway/id8.html

I spent about an hour choosing various clip art images that drew me and expressed some of the things I love in life plus I added some words/phrases that spoke to me like Family, Laughter, Passion, Embracing Life, Creativity and others. I printed this out and put it on my bulletin board next to the paper bag activity from week 1. It's a great reminder of the things I love and want to enjoy more in life.

For my Artist's Date, I spent an hour alone sketching a page filled with fun and sassy images like purses, shoes, flowers, etc. I don't know why a lot of my creativity seems to want to come out in sketching form lately since I've never done much of it at all, but there it is lol. I keep wanting to draw, so I've decided to buy myself a sketch book to play in.

My oldest daughter is the drawing/painting talent around here, but maybe I can express myself this way, too. Who knows. :)

I also completed all of the tasks this week and found them useful. I think some of my answers will be things I can use/ponder even more when this 12 weeks session is over. :)

My morning pages have been done every single day since the beginning. I'm hoping I keep them going although I will have a few days of down time when this little one arrives.

If I seem to take a bit of time between posts, it's because I'm very uncomfortable sitting here for long. In fact, I can barely reach the keyboard. The baby seems to have shifted into a position that makes it hard to get close to the desk and for that matter, I just found out I can hardly sit behind the steering wheel when driving. We are definitely getting close. :)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Audra Marie

Giving myself permission to not be perfect...

I've been enjoying the insights I'm gleaning from reading and working through chapter 1 which deals with blurts (negative thoughts) and finding their sources from our past. I've struggled for many years with perfectionism and although I've always known where it stemmed from, I never really sat down and let myself explore it before. The tasks I've completed so far have allowed me to really analyze those negative thoughts and their sources and I've come to find that I don't accept those voices from my past any longer.

I'm a much stronger person in many ways and to continue with the changes I've been making (with God's help), I'm giving myself permission to not be perfect in the things I do. I'm not saying I'm not going to give it my all. No, I'll simply accept that I'm never going to be perfect and my imperfections along with my strengths are a part of who I am. They help bring a uniqueness that is strictly mine.

I'm finding this new attitude makes me feel more creative and free-spirited. I can have fun with what I'm working on if I'm not busy trying to make it perfect in case someone witnesses my flaws. This in turn will help others around me to realize it's okay to not be perfect, too.

I tried this idea at Paper Art Studio (which has ideas for The Artist's Way) the other day and decided I'd have fun with it. I wanted to remember the simple thrill of coloring with crayons and making a childish project. I colored a piece of printing paper in a bright, funky design with crayons and cut the top edge with decorative edging scissors. I then folded this cut edge down a little and wrapped the opposite end around a rectangular shaped decoration much like you'd wrap a present.

While the glue dried on my little paper sack, I wrote on my price tags and colored each to match my sack and then I took some paper strips and wrote down the good things that would result from being creative. I colored these to match, too. Then I folded these and dropped them into my now dry bag and stuck the price tags on the outside.

This little art piece is attached to my bulletin board near my desk. It's bright, cheerful and imperfect, but it was fun and freeing to be a kid for a little while. This is also serving as a reminder that it's a good thing to not try for perfection. :) I find things come out perfect that way - perfect for me.
  • Current Mood
    accomplished accomplished
Audra Marie

Why The Artist's Way?

I thought I might share a little about what led me to begin the year with The Artist's Way. For the past several months, God has been doing some major changing in my heart and mind. I didn't realize how different things were until I looked back over 2005.

The first few months, I wasn't very content or happy with where I was in life and dreamed of so much more, but felt like I'd never change and be the woman I knew I was meant to be. Then I discovered some things about myself including that I was pregnant with number six. :) I began to take steps to head in the right direction when I became too sick from morning sickness to do much more than hang over the toilet bowl or lay drugged on the couch from anti-nausea medicine. I was frustrated because I couldn't continue with the progress I was finally beginning to see. I was also blessed because my husband had noticed and acknowledged a difference in me.

But God doesn't waste time and even when we think we are at a stand-still, God is still moving. He worked on my heart and mind renewing them and building my faith in him. I began to focus solely on wanting to know Jesus simply for the sake of knowing him and not for what he could do for me or give to me.

As I began to come out the other side of the Morning Sickness Valley, I found a new confidence in God and found myself caring less about pleasing others and more about pleasing him. I found an intense desire to draw closer to my family and really love them and love ON them. I also found a new passion and longing for living life fully and embracing the things of God more deeply.

I've decided to take this energy and use it every day to enjoy the blessings in my life.

Some friends decided to dive into The Artist's Way to kick off 2006 and I caught their enthusiasm. The book sounded exciting yet challenging for my creativity and I want to explore the creative possibilities this new year and new me hold.

What can I say? I take after my Heavenly Father: the Creator, the Master Painter, the Great Author of Life, the Potter who is patiently sculpting and shaping my life. The Artist is most definitely amazing to behold. I'm looking forward to exploring what The Artist's Way book and the Artist's way both hold in store for me.
Audra Marie

The Artist's Way

I've decided to dive into this book with some friends and so far I'm loving the experience. I went out Wednesday and bought the book, a small journal for my Morning Pages which ironically says Life on the front, and a small notebook with fun pink and purple stripes for my assignments.

I began reading the book that night and Thursday morning was my first day with the Morning Pages. I wasn't sure if I could fill three pages, but I did and I enjoyed it. Day 2 went just as good and I believe I might have some goodies for writing later when I'm allowed to go back and read through them (I believe at around week 8).

I also decided to have my Artist's Date tonight/last night (Friday). I'm pregnant and due in 5 1/2 weeks, so I chose something simple at home. I turned on two soft lamps in my room plus lit a scented candle in the bathroom. Throw in a little classical Mozart and I was ready to relax in the shower. I treated myself to a deep hair conditioner and moisterized with a nice lotion when I was done. After dressing in a nice nightgown and clipping my hair up, I delighted in one yummy white chocolate truffle. I sprayed my sheets with a vanilla scented spray talc and crawled in with my Artist's Way book and notebook. I ended the date by writing and signing the Creativity Contract.

It was a peaceful and very relaxing evening which is especially nice for a pregnant woman in her third trimester. :)

I'm definitely off to a great start and I haven't even hit week 1 yet. I'm a little behind my group, but I should be able to catch up rather quickly. More creativity awaits...